Dating Violence, Domestic Violence, and Stalking

Dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender and can affect people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. At Saint Mary's, we are committed to creating a safe and respectful enviromnent for all students, staff, and faculty and we encourage anyone who has been impacted or is experiencing these issues to seek support. 

Dating violence

Dating violence is defined as violence committed by a person who is or has been in a social relationship of a romantic or intimate nature with the victim; and where the existence of such a relationship shall be determined based on a consideration of the following factors:

  • The length of the relationship
  • The type of relationship
  • The frequency of interaction between the persons involved in the relationship

Someone may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if their partner:

  • Calls them names, insults them or continually criticizes them.
  • Does not trust them and acts jealous or possessive.
  • Tries to isolate them from family or friends.
  • Monitors where  they go, who they call and who  they spend time with.
  • Does not want them to work.
  • Controls finances or refuses to share money.
  • Punishes them by withholding affection.
  • Expects them to ask permission to spend time with friends, spend money, wear certain clothes or make up, etc.
  • Threatens to hurt them, their friends, family or pets.
  • Humiliates them in any way.

Someone may be in a physically abusive relationship if their partner has ever:

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked them.
  • Abandoned them in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
  • Scared them by driving recklessly.
  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt them.
  • Forced them to leave their home.
  • Trapped them in their home or kept them from leaving.
  • Prevented them from calling police or seeking medical attention.
  • Used physical force in sexual situations.

Someone may be in a sexually abusive relationship if their partner:

  • Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
  • Accuses them of cheating or is often jealous of their outside relationships.
  • Wants them to dress in a sexual way.
  • Insults them in sexual ways or calls them sexual names.
  • Has ever forced or manipulated them into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
  • Held them down during sex.
  • Demanded sex when they were sick, tired or after beating them.
  • Hurt them with weapons or objects during sex.
  • Involved other people in sexual activities with them.
  • Ignored their feelings regarding sex.

Stalking

Saint Mary’s College is committed to providing a campus atmosphere free of violence for all members of the campus community. For this reason, Saint Mary’s does not tolerate stalking and insists that all members of the community be able to pursue their interests free from stalking.  Saint Mary’s is also committed to supporting victims of stalking through the appropriate provision of safety and support services.

 Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.  A course of conduct is a pattern of behavior composed of two or more acts over any period of time.  Stalking happens to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender and can affect every aspect of a victim’s life.  Stalking is a crime in California and is subject to criminal prosecution.

Someone may be a victim of stalking through:

  • Non-consensual communication including in-person communication, telephone calls, voice messages, text messages, email messages, social networking site postings, instant messages, postings of pictures or information on Web sites, written letters, gifts, or any other communications that are undesired and/or place another person in fear
  • Following, pursuing, waiting, or showing up uninvited at a workplace, place of residence, classroom, or other locations frequented by a victim
  • Surveillance and other types of observation, whether by physical proximity or electronic means
  • Trespassing
  • Vandalism
  • Non-consensual touching
  • Direct physical and/or verbal threats against a victim or a victim’s loved ones
  • Gathering of information about a victim from family, friends, co-workers, and/or classmates
  • Manipulative and controlling behaviors such as threats to harm oneself, or threats to harm someone close to the victim
  • Defamation or slander against the victim

The College insists that all members of its community shall be able to pursue their interests free from violence. To report conduct that an individual believes is a violation of this Policy when the person engaging in the conduct is a student, students  should report to Evette Castillo Clark, Dean of Students and Title IX Deputy, ecc4@stmarys-ca.edu.

There are many resources available on campus to assist students who have experienced or are currently experiencing dating violence, domestic violence, or stalking. Students may contact the Director of Sexual Assault Prevention at 925-631-4193 to receive support, advocacy, and assistance with navigating the reporting process.

Students may also access the College's anonymous Campus Assault Resource and Empowerment (CARE) hotline 24-hours a day, seven days a week during the academic year by calling 925-878-9207 for support and information about all available reporting options. They may also contact Counseling and Psychological Services at 925-631-4364 for ongoing, confidential therapy.